Embrace winter with fitness at the 2nd Annual IF Toronto Biathlon Event. Spend an exciting day learning proper cross-country ski and biathlon shooting techniques. Event is February 7th near Collingwood. Contact your trainers at IF Toronto for details on winter training programs and how to sign up!
In November I herniated a disk and impinged a nerve in my back. Even with the previous accidents that I have had, this one smacked me in the face as I struggled to walk properly for weeks and realized that I only have one back. I have never been so afraid that I won’t recover from an injury unless I take extra precautions now. These extra precautions mean time, and time is my commodity. The Olympics are in less than 7 months, trials have already started, and in the past 4 months I have injured myself twice, had one surgery, and sailed my boat less than 15 days.
It would be hard to admit that I feel like an athlete right now.
I would love to say that my spirits are not affected by this, but that would be a lie. It is frustrating being in the gym and knowing that you cannot or in some cases simply should not physically push yourself to limits that you are use to. Even worse – when you are told not to practice what you call your job. I understand the doctor’s reasonings, but as someone who identifies with being an athlete, it can make you feel small.
I have been down this road before, but the walk back to a healthy body has gotten longer and bumpier. As the body responds and tries to heal one injury, it reminds you of other injuries past. By no means an excuse, this is an acknowledgement of reality. The drive may still be there, but when you constantly push your body to the limit, in time it wears thin, and that can wear on the mind.
Left feeling like I am to retire from my sport without really wanting to, part of me is also perturbed because I am without a solid plan for the future. This begs the question – what will I commit my time and energy to once I have finished campaigning for the Olympics? Similar to anyone transitioning between jobs or from school into the working world – based on your goals, skills, and passions, where is your energy best spent?
With each subsequent injury I have found myself searching harder for my career after sport. Having to take downtime and sit out of events to heal was frustrating at first, but has afforded me the time to start laying the foundation for my next career. This has been my way of taking my mind off of the fact that I am not able to do what I normally love to do and what I want so badly to accomplish. The networking, studying, and small jobs I have picked up to make money have encouraged me to stay bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about the inevitable life after sailing.
A career after sport is important to me for financial reasons, for continued personal growth, for challenging myself mentally, and for my own personal peace of mind that I am using the skills I have learned over the past 8+ years to hopefully contribute somewhere else in a positive way.
Making plans going forward, the following quote has come in handy.
“The probability of achieving the outcome you want increases when you let go of the need to have that outcome.”
― Gary Mack, Mind Gym
A certain level of effort is always required, but choking something to death is never good. Accepting that my body has to be my priority has made it easier to commit myself to loving the conditions of the process of healing this injury, however long it takes. I have taken stock of how much fun I have had in my career as a sailor and how much it has taught me. I am already so lucky to have had the success and experiences I have had. Any more will be gravy.
I will always be an athlete. This I am sure of. In large part to maintain my good health, but also because of all the happiness, camaraderie, and great metaphors it has awarded me. But in order to always be an athlete I must prioritize the care of my body now. The next event I will compete in is the European Championships at the end of February. With a calm mind I look forward to it and everything that follows.
What IF you could?
Claire Merry
Canadian Sailing Team
IF Sponsored Athlete
Innovative Fitness Toronto Ritz-Carlton
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